DATING ADVICE
SMILE!
First Advice is to SMILE! And if not for the camera, then do it for the sake of your marriage. According to studies it has been shown that those who flashed their pearly whites more often in photographs had a higher martial success rate compared to those frowning Debbie Downers. He also says that those who smile more frequently usually have a larger network of friends, which helps keep a marriage healthy. Researchers gathered old college photos of people and rated their smile intensity from one to 10.
Being too Picky
Meeting your mate, a matter of stage in life…or simply hair color? We notice certain aspects of dating and mating that seem to make or break a match that clicks and lasts. Take for example a new client–we’ll call him Rickie–a sharp, nice-looking professional and single dad whose gotten so disgusted with dull dates that, at the age of 45, he’s ready to turn his dating life over to the pros. Yes, it’s time for Rickie to surrender to the matchmaking gods..or goddesses, as the case may be! Contrary to urban legend that goes
Cut The Small Talk
How many times have you been on a date with someone you really wanted to know, but the chemistry just wasn’t there? Maybe you were nervous or your date never really opened up. You were two attractive, accomplished people with similar life goals, so what gives? It’s more than likely that the reason you weren’t able to connect with your date was something so unbearably simple it has eluded even the most experienced daters for centuries: the conversation was bad. There. We said it. It’s not that you’re a bad person
Online Dating
Online daters beware: more options in the dating pool is not always better. While dating sites continue to boast unrealistic percentages of “success,” recent studies suggest the long-term effects of meeting online are actually detrimental to relationships. Aditi Paul, a PhD candidate at Michigan State University, reviewed answers from 2,923 respondents included in a longitudinal Stanford University study titled, “How Couples Meet and Stay Together.” Paul’s research compared rates of separation and marriage for couples who met
Find Your Love Language
Everyone understands the feeling of another person just not “getting it.” You might reside in the same city and speak the same language, but the meaning behind your words can often get lost in the emotion behind them. The key to communication is to get on the other person’s level and communicate in a way that matters to them. Dr. Gary Chapman has developed a theory that there are five love languages that dominate most major relationships. These languages determine how much value you assign to caring gestures
Commandments
The Commandments Act like a lady This means being polite and follow common laws of etiquette such as saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” Do not cuss. Men admire, trust and respect women with good manners. This includes not chasing him by calling or emailing him excessively, it will make you look desperate and crazy. Do not drink too much on the first date Although it may be very tempting, in order to relax, drinking more than two alcoholic beverages could impair your judgment.
Biggest Mistakes Men Make
Men are you wondering why women are not responding to your request for a second date? Act like a gentleman. This means being polite and follow common laws of etiquette such as saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” Women admire and respect a man who still believes in chivalry and courtship. This includes being attentive and making her feel safe and letting her know that you respect her. Do not make any sex jokes too soon, that can make her feel uncomfortable, while you are just getting to know each other. Offer to get
Biggest Mistakes Women Make
Out of the thousands of men that we have interviewed, they have all asked for one thing in common, (take in mind we all have different preferences) and that is for a woman to be feminine, that being said we are not saying for a woman not to be career oriented or be intelligent and go back to the 50’s where the woman is in the kitchen, we are saying that you can still have the education, career, business, and still be feminine around your man, as matchmakers we have noticed that it is harder for Independent women to be in a
Mixed Signals
Take the example of a recent match-up in which a pair meets for coffee and end up in his car necking and groveling like two high school students. It went from hot and heavy with sparks flying to stone cold and going nowhere fast. Women don’t give men enough encouragement, of their interest or lack thereof. Some women feel that to be feminine they need to wait for the man to call. But the message we, as matchmakers, want to get across to women, is that men need a “green light” in order to call and not risk being
Steve Jobs Can Help You Date
The Apple Empire dominates the tech world even today, so we couldn’t help but wonder, if Steve Jobs was right about what makes an entrepreneur successful. But what if this same concept was applied to relationships? Our matchmakers believe perseverance is part of what sets successful relationships apart from failed ones. From the time spent looking for that date to the actual hurdles that come between even the closest of partners, cool heads and a lot of patience are necessary to persevere as a couple. Replace the word
Why Men Fall in Love
For one, our brains are hardwired differently, so the first rule of thumb is: don’t try to change him. What I mean by that is not giving up all hope that he will take your wardrobe advice or learn to take out the trash without you asking him to, but on a deeper level, men can not change the way they think, communicate or interpret your communication. Therefore, for peaceful relations with a man, learn how to talk to him to get what you want. If you don’t know where to start, there are many books out there
Things Irresistible Men Do
Attraction is the biggest stepping stone in any relationship. The biggest house, newest car and most successful career are all great, but hold little bearing when it comes to whether your date will actually find you attractive. There are a few traits we’ve noticed all women seem to love in a man – and these traits are surprisingly difficult to cultivate. The few men who do possess these qualities find their dating pools are much larger, which ultimately leads to more control over their own dating lives and an easier time
Marry A Millionaire
Mother always said it’s just as easy to love a rich man as a poor man. But in many women’s eyes it is easier. So if you are looking for ways to meet the millionaire of your dreams read on…. Besides being nice and donating your time you might even meet a fabulous successful single man on this venture. #1 Get an education. The affluent value a good education and if you want to make a man fall in love with you, be able to talk about current events and the arts. It’s not all about looks. Haven’t you ever seen a woman with a great
Keep your Relationship off Social Media
Social media sharing always seems like a good idea at first. After all, it’s a way to catch up with old friends and share what’s happening in your lives. The key to social media is to use it sparingly. It’s fine to comment on photos and even share the occasional update about your own life, but excessive updates can actually be damaging to your life – and your relationship. Here are our matchmakers’ top reasons to keep your relationship off social media. Overcome
Build an Instant Connection
Contrary to popular opinion, the location should be a place you and your date choose together. We recommend narrowing it down to a few places and let him know the two types of food that you prefer, and then let your date (the man) make the final decision. This avoids awkward situations like mistakenly taking a vegan to a steak house with no vegan options. Be flexible in case your date has other ideas. Always have a secondary location in mind in the event that your date goes well and you want to spend more time together.
Attachmetnt Theory
Attachment theory emerged in the 1950s and 1960s as Bowlby studied the impact of early relationships on childhood development. Bowlby drew inspiration from ethology, psychoanalysis, and his own observations of children in institutionalized settings. It explores the nature of emotional bonds and relationships between individuals. Developed by British psychologist John Bowlby, attachment theory suggests that early experiences with caregivers shape the way individuals form and maintain relationships throughout their lives.
Secure Attachment
is one of the main attachment styles identified in attachment theory. It describes a healthy and positive pattern of emotional bonding between an infant and their primary caregiver. Here’s everything you need to know about secure attachment: refers to a strong and secure emotional bond formed between an infant and a caregiver, typically the mother. It is characterized by a consistent and sensitive response from the caregiver to the child’s needs, providing a secure base from which the child can explore the world and seek comfort in times of distress.
Anxious Attachment
Intense fear of rejection or abandonment: fear of being left alone or unloved, which can lead to clingy behavior & a constant need for reassurance.
Preoccupation with the relationship: They tend to be highly focused on their partner & the status of the relationship, frequently worrying about the future
Heightened emotional reactivity: intense emotional reactions to perceived threats, often overreacting to minor triggers.
Difficulty trusting others: Due to their fear of rejection, may be suspicious or overly sensitive
Low self-esteem: Anxious attachment is often associated with feelings of inadequacy, leading individuals to seek external validation to boost their self-worth.
Avoidant Attachment
Emotional detachment: They tend to downplay the significance of close emotional connections & may actively avoid expressing vulnerability or dependency.
Independence and self-reliance: Individuals with this attachment style prioritize self-sufficiency
Suppression of emotions: may have learned to suppress their emotional needs and display a self-reliant facade to protect themselves from potential rejection or disappointment.
Difficulty with intimacy: They may struggle with developing deep emotional bonds or feel uncomfortable with emotional expressions from others.
Fearful Avoidant Attachment
Conflicting emotions: They may desire closeness and intimacy but also fear being hurt or rejected in relationships.
Fear of abandonment: Individuals with fearful-avoidant attachment often have a deep-seated fear of abandonment, stemming from past experiences of rejection or trauma.
Mixed messages: They may send mixed signals in relationships, alternating between seeking closeness and pushing others away.
Emotional volatility: Fearful-avoidant individuals may experience intense emotions and difficulty regulating them, leading to unpredictable behavior and mood swings.
Disorganized behaviors: They may exhibit inconsistent or disorganized behaviors in relationships, struggling with coherence and stability in their attachment-related behaviors.
Trauma Bonding
Emotional dependence: The victim becomes emotionally dependent on the abuser, seeking their approval, validation, and love, despite the harmful behaviors inflicted upon them.
Mixed emotions: The victim experiences a conflicting range of emotions, including fear, loyalty, love, and gratitude towards the abuser.
Isolation and control: The abuser often isolates the victim from their support network, making them dependent solely on the abuser for their emotional and physical well-being.
Manipulation and gaslighting: The abuser uses manipulation tactics, such as gaslighting and minimizing the abuse, to distort the victim’s perception of reality and keep them trapped in the abusive dynamic.
Traumatic bonding: The intensity of the abuse and intermittent acts of kindness or “honeymoon phases” create a cycle of reinforcement, leading the victim to bond with the abuser.
Love Bombing
Overwhelming attention: The love bomber bombards their partner with an excessive amount of attention, often through constant calls, texts, and messages, as well as frequent declarations of love and affection
Intense affection and compliments: The love bomber showers their partner with affectionate words, compliments, and flattery, making the other person feel special and adored.
Rapid relationship progression: Love bombers often push for a quick and intense commitment, such as saying “I love you” early in the relationship or talking about moving in together or getting married soon after meeting.
Extravagant gifts and gestures: Love bombers may use expensive gifts or extravagant gestures to create a sense of obligation and indebtedness in their partner.
Isolation: Love bombers may try to isolate their partner from friends and family, making them dependent solely on the love bomber for emotional support and validation.
Breadcrumbding
Inconsistent communication: The person engaging in breadcrumbing may send intermittent messages, often with long gaps in between, to maintain the other person’s interest.
Mixed signals: They may provide occasional compliments, flirty remarks, or future plans without following through or making any real commitment.
Lack of clarity: Breadcrumbers often keep their intentions or feelings ambiguous, leaving the other person confused about the status or direction of the relationship.
Attention-seeking: Breadcrumbing behavior can stem from a desire to boost one’s ego, receive validation, or keep multiple options open without committing to any specific person.