Men are you wondering why women are not responding to your request for a second date? Here are some dating tips for why they might not be available to see you and our advice for finding love.
Being self absorbed, having a one way conversation about yourself, and not taking an interest in your date is NOT appealing.
Bragging
Have you ever tried to over impress your date with how wonderful you are? Telling women how much you make in high dollar figures, your large home, assets, people you know, everyone thinks you are wonderful, is a major turn-off. You may think this is flattering but most women do not. Being self absorbed, having a one way conversation about yourself, and not taking an interest in your date is not appealing and a complete waste of her precious time.
Act like a gentleman
This means being polite and follow common laws of etiquette such as saying “please,” “thank you,” and “excuse me.” Women admire and respect a man who still believes in chivalry. This includes being attentive and making her feel safe and letting her know that you respect her. Do not make any sex jokes too soon, that can make her feel uncomfortable, while you are just getting to know each other. Offer to get her an Uber to and from the date, specially if there will be drinks involved. Always be respectful.
Do not drink too much on the first date
Although it may be very tempting, in order to relax, drinking more than two alcoholic beverages could impair your judgment. Stay clear and focused, and never allow yourself to become sloppy or drunk. Remember — two drinks maximum!
Coming off desperate
It is nice to compliment a woman; after all she has gone out of her way to look nice for you. However overdoing it on the first date and repeatedly telling a woman “You are so pretty,” “I am so lucky to be out with you,” “I would love to take you to Hawaii in June,” “My mom would love to meet you,” are statements of desperation and a red flag, specially if you don’t actually mean it. Being too touchy feely without watching a woman’s body language is a big turn-off as well, feel her body language first and don’t make physical contact unless she has made it clear that she is interested in you and of course be respectful with the ladies, do NOT grab anything inappropriately, touch her hand gently if she’s sitting across from you, and in leaning forward and is engaged and the conversation is flowing, see how she responds to that and if she flinches or puts it away simply do not touch her, and if she’s interested she can make any type of physical touch that she is comfortable with. For us women its all about how a man makes us feel, if he makes us feel safe and secure and if we can trust him, not someone who is being pushy or too touchy feely with us, when we don’t even know if we have chemistry with them yet, patience and make sure you make the ladies feel and know that you are a gentleman and not just looking for a hookup.
Phone
The best thing to do if she has agreed to go out again when calling is leave a message or you can text her. If she sees that you have called numerous amounts of times and/or you keep on texting, looks like an act of total desperation. Women do not want to feel that a man has tried to call over and over for them. The right thing to do is call, or text her once. She will respect you more. We have all experienced the over dramatic and obsessive weirdo who felt the need to blow up our phones and can’t seem to take the hint that we are busy with our own life, and that just because someone is single they don’t owe you all of their waking hours either.
Don’t talk about wanting any/more kids during the first date
One of the biggest mistakes people make is that within the first few dates, is that they start talking about wanting to have kids way too soon, even before they are intimate. And YES there really is such thing as TOO SOON!
As a man you may not ask if she wants any/more kids unless you guys are in a monogamous relationship, or you have been in an intimate relationship, and you are considering making her the mother of your children. When you are asking her if she wants kids, what some women are hearing is…I might want to have kids with you. (In most cases, when/if she likes you, she will be under the impression that you would want her to be the mother of your children, when you are simply asking if she would want to have kids one day…You just planted a seed) The
truth is that around 95% of women who don’t have them, want to have them one day, and in some cases, even if she doesn’t want them now, she can always change her mind (us women tend to do that). Because if she answers with honesty, it will put way too much pressure on such a brand new relationship. Get to know her first, and just to be clear, we are not saying to lie to her if you are 100% sure that you don’t want kids at all or with her, eventually do let her know that, but not something that needs to be brought up too soon, with our experience, she ends up losing either way, because once she lets you know yes she can’t wait to have children, you will then feel too much pressure, as if she is looking to have children with you tomorrow, and thats not the case, the truth is that she would eventually want them, with the right person and as a family, otherwise she could have many by now.
Anger Problems
Getting angry at the waiter in a restaurant and complaining about your food and how terrible the service is over and over again even if it was, it just ruins the evening for the other person. Making statements such as “Wow this dinner was expensive,” or asking your date to contribute to the meal will be your last date and in our service it is something that will not be tolerated at all!
Avoid bringing personal baggage to the table
In the beginning, it is best not to bring up any of your deep personal issues; she’s not your therapist (and you’re not his). This often happens with when excessive alcohol and/or lots chemistry. Deep, personal history is simply too much intimate/personal information, for her to process in the very beginning (it is very human to judge when you don’t know someone well enough). If you want to be in a healthy, loving, committed relationship it is important you as the man leads the conversation in the beginning and it’s about you and the other person, and that you focus on making her feel safe and secure, and ask her questions be playful. The conversation should become a ping-pong match. Do not over share or ask questions that are too personal and that you will hold against her after. When we don’t know or care about someone yet we tend to judge them more and when we go home after the date we over analyze every little thing, and then will more likely make an unfair judgement about someone who felt comfortable enough with us to share very intimate things.
DO NOT Bring up your Ex
We find that some people end up bringing up their exes or a specific ex over and over again while on a date with someone else, who they are interested in, (if they are really just your ex and someone from your PAST) they shouldn’t keep being brought up with a person that you are interested in getting to know and have a potential future with, of course that being said we are not saying for you to lie or not answer a question if someone asks why you two broke up, or why it didn’t work out, keep it short, keep it classy, and DO NOT sit and bash the ex either or go on and on about how must you love/d them and did for them, just don’t waste the other person’s time, if you are not over your ex then get back with them, or take some time off from dating, there is no need for a single woman to be hearing about your ex/exes over and over again as its disrespectful to her and her time, and will not make her feel safe, to develop feelings for you since you’re clearly not emotionally available, she could have easily been on a date with a man who is interested in her and in moving on.
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